Quotes

I had to create a ‘Quotes’ page that would sum up the many routine sayings that litter my verbal repertoire. This page will likely be meaningless to those who don’t know me, but I am prepared to create sound bites of the quotes themselves (if possible) to demonstrate how they are used; after which, you are advised to use them (sparingly of course). My sayings are context specific and often derivative of other common phrases. I take no credit for the originality of these quotes with the exception of one (which I genuinely believe I crafted, if not perfected). Please enjoy but use wisely. I accept no responsibility for the misuse, misappropriation or misunderstanding of the material on this page (on this entire blog in fact).

Quote 1: “Ooooooh No!”

Description: This is a difficult one to describe because you literally have to hear it to understand how and why it works. It’s intended to be used with a comical but slightly offended tone and is appropriate in only the most nuanced situations (This last part is a complete lie, I abuse this phrase like its nobody’s business).

Situation for which it is appropriate: A friend tells you someone attractive is approaching you, seemingly to flirt/ask you on a date, and instructs you to play coy. Your friend describes the person to you, your interest is peaked and you can’t help but take a look. You look up and find a Flava-Flav lookin’ type winking at you the first chance they get. <Insert: Ooooh No!>

Quote 2: “You don’t know me at all!/ This b**** don’t know me at all”

Description: You’ll notice that many of my quotes end in exclamation points – This is because so much of the things that offend me have trouble staying in my head. By the time I get my filter in place to stop/subdue it, it has already escaped and I have no choice other than to smile nervously. This second quote is fairly straight forward. When a person does something offensive to you, around you, in your general proximity, or worse still, BEHIND your back, it calls for an immediate and forceful response. This quote is intended to be a sarcastically-toned, literal expression of a persons unfamiliarity with you, and more generally, with your morals/values/sensitivities/tolerance.

Situation for which it is appropriate: You are meeting the friend of a friend for the first time. They seem polite, reasonably intelligent etc etc. OUT OF NOWHERE, they say something out of left field and incredibly offensive (e.g. See I always thought black people were ghetto?! or OMG your hair is so nice, can I touch it?) <Insert: This b**** don’t know me at all> –> I realize these two examples are both about race but I can’t think of others right now.

Note on utilization: The word b**** is being applied as a general term for ignorant person, please use as you see fit. In addition, the version “You don’t know me at all!” is typically muttered under the breath and to one’s self; whereas the latter version “This b**** don’t know me at all!” is often spoken to an ally/friend/person who knows you.

Quote’s still to come… “Read a book!”, “Choose Life!”, “We’re bout to fight!” and More!